What should I do? Okay so this might be a long one..?
My brother is a heroin addict and I knew long before my mom did that he had this problem, considering we are so close in age and have a lot of the same friends. I would try to tell her and it would just cause fights because she didn’t believe me claiming that she talked to him and their communication was good.
So my family has gone threw a lot in the past four years( like my mom and dad’s divorce and my mom loosing her job to get a worse paying one) and it has taken its tole on my mom and she has been really stressed and down. She was doing alright for a while but she went on medical leave claiming she had a sleeping problem like sleep apnea. When she went back to work my brother, who moved out about when she took her leave, admitted to having his addiction. I felt hurt and angry that she didn’t believe me but glad he was getting help.
Shortly after he came out about this she started acting weird and falling asleep a lot while she was driving and doing normal everyday stuff. I know this story is going to get a lot weirder and harder to believe but bare with me.
I started noticing these changes in her and she would stop by my brother’s house everyday after work to "check" on him and see how his treatment was going. I do believe she was checking on him for a few weeks but she started showing signs of using heroin the more I looked into her actions.
She was really lethargic and it scared me and I kept it to myself for a while and only told my boyfriend about my suspicions. I know the signs of what a person looks, acts and talks like when they are high on heroin because of the experience with my brother.
One day my mom brother and I went out to eat and when we were getting in the car, I was on the phone with my bf but slightly listening to my mom and bro (because she went on another one of her suspicious bathroom trips that she does so often) and I swore she said she was worried she dropped a balloon( meaning a balloon of heroin) and my brother even glanced at me as if to see if I heard her. So i confronted my mom later and she flipped out about how hurt she was by my accusation and at that point I thot I was making it up in my head. I later talked to them both about it and the deny it like anyone would. Now mind you people who are on drugs are very good lyers and are good at telling people everything is fine when its not. I have gone through my moms phone before and seen texts asking my brother for the usual dose and hit and other stuff like that and my brother saying he would need money and stuff. My mom has bad track marks also, which was what made me think all of this to begin with.
So I know it is not in my head and I know that she is using now and I am sad and hurt and angry and confused on why and I try to talk to her about it but she denies it and it does more damage than good at this point. So getting to the point, we recently got alot of money because my recently deceased grandmothers house sold and alot of the money is in her name. Not only am I worried about her health but she has been slacking off on work and is on her was to being fired. I still live with her and I am only 18 and still have high school to finish and I am really scared to stay living with her and watch her life be ruined but I have no job and my dad is outta the picture and I only have a few thousand dollars. I feel bad but I hate her so much right now for her decisions that I can hardly talk to her when she is obviously high and trying to hide it, Which is alot. I dont know what to do… I cant turn her in to the police i dont want to hurt her but I need her to know that I know what she is doing and I am not going to put up with it, BUT i cant really move out yet because I need to finish school… and I am so over whelmed by this situation its hard to even get up for school and I am really worried. I am already diagnosed with Panic Disorder so it puts more stress on me… i really need advise… please anyone… you could change my life by replying to this… sorry about the typing and spelling…
mmk well my bf is in the middle of being kicked outta his moms house, he is only 19 and he just got a job, he is probably going to live with his friend and i doubt i could live with them…
And the other dilemma is i don’t have my drivers license(but i have a car) and if i move out of my moms house and live on my own it will probably make me drop out of school and i wont graduate, because i live in such a rural town that there is no work and i need to move to the city… its just all so messed up.. its really hard to feel alone in life…
Wow ok so all the responses are great thanks everyone, but just for the record.. i have no friends or social life because of my panic disorder and the so called friends that i do have are distant and wouldnt know how to help me because they have freakishly perfect lives.. i have no trusted adult to talk to at all… all i can think of is to get a job and move out… even if that means putting off my high school diploma for a year or two to get settled… which sucks because i really enjoy learning and school… ps i dont want pity, just advise and someone to listen really… thank you all though…very much..
Tagged with: acts • addiction • balloon • bathroom trips • bf • bro • brother • divorce • heroin addict • job • mom and dad • signs • sleep • sleep apnea • sleeping problem • suspicions • tole • weirder
Filed under: Sleep Apnea Solutions
Keep your head about you honey – it is the best thing you have going for you right now.
I’m sorry to say it, but your Mum is not going to be of much help to you – the only thing important to her now, is her next fix.
If you absolutely have no one else (friend, neighbour, other family member, doctor, school counselor) to ask for help, then you need to confront your mother and ask for some of that money.
Tell her you are unable to watch her destroy herself any further, that you love her but need to get your own place.
Tell her you will be nearby and will keep in touch.
Ask for enough money to get you renting (or boarding) somewhere where you have a chance at finding a job.
Get your licence as soon as possible, get settled into accommodation, find a job and look into finishing high school by evening classes (if that’s possible).
You are 18, you have common sense, you WILL manage.
Make what life you can for yourself before your family brings you down further.
Take good care of your health honey.
okay ask your boyfriend for some help , maybe if he has a house he can let you stay there for a while until you have enough money for your own. TRY and get a job , any job will do as long as your making a little money. You can also find professional help and ask them what to do about this situation or find a relative. TALK to your brother, he can really help and if you can convince to stop having your mom buy the drugs off him then this problem could be solved.
hoped i helped, i know a lot of people aren’t gonna answer this so i wish you luck :-)
Tell your mom it is you or her drugs, If she denies using walk out, If she loves you she will say stop and apologize maybe talk about it and if she doesn’t she isn’t your mom anymore just move on if she doesn’t care about others why should you care about here
I’m really sorry to hear about this! You do not deserve to go through this! You could try looking for those websites like the Al-Anon group (I think that’s what its called and stuff) but they are for people whose lives have been dramatically changed by their close family and friends’ drinking or drug using problems.
Sorry I’m not much help! I just wanted to say that I hope you and your family gets through this.
i know your trying to keep your mother safe but sweetie you need to tell someone who will get them help. i know its hard and it will be hard. you’ve gone through alot and i give you credit for doing what you’ve done to help yourself heal. if its possible try living with you bf. or another relative. you should finish school tho. you really should go to someone who willl help your mother n brother. they need help even if itll get them introuble, they’d survive.
if it helps talk to me.
i think it would be a lot better if you would talk to your mom about it. yes, i know you’re afraid but you know yourself that you should face it. you should also talk it out with your relatives, they can help you a lot. ask them for help. of course your mom needs to be rehabilitated, that’s why you should ask help from people older than you.
for the time being, you should talk to some of your friends about it. friends can really help you a lot when it comes to problems. they can comfort you.
i really like to help you coz i pity you that’s why i’m hoping that i really can help
Heroin is a highly addictive drug, and its abuse has repercussions that extend far beyond the individual user. The medical and social consequences of drug abuse – HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, fetal effects, crime, violence, and disruptions in family, workplace, and educational environments – have a devastating impact on society and cost billions of dollars each year.
Like many other chronic diseases, addiction can be treated. Fortunately, the availability of treatments to manage opiate addiction and the promise from research of new and effective behavioral and pharmacological therapies provides hope for individuals who suffer from addiction and for those around them. For example, buprenorphine, approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in 2002, provides a less addictive alternative to methadone maintenance, reduces cravings with only mild withdrawal symptoms, and can be prescribed in the privacy of a doctor’s office.